We can do more than pray in this country: solving national problems

28 Jul 2016 Leave a comment

by Lisa Mahaffey, MSW in Electing leaders, Mental health/drugs, Uncategorized Tags: ,

Social problems in America: examples:drug and alcohol dependence/addiction and the resulting deaths, health problems, familial problems, violence;  gun violence and the resulting deaths, maimings; making police and citizens feel unsafe; its relationship to mental and emotional health issues; its relationship to drug and alcohol dependence.

We are about to elect a new president. Over the past 16+ years Republicans have refused to address major social problems in this country. The Republican Congress does nothing but vote “no” on bills to address problems such as drug/alcohol dependence and gun violence. And they bring forth no worthwhile bills of their own. When something horrible happens in this country, all we hear from them is, “Pray for them”. Afterwards, nothing is done to solve the problems. As citizens, when something horrible happens, for example, regarding drugs/alcohol, gun violence, some people just say, “let’s pray for them”. It is not enough! We must do much more than pray. We must develop strong, comprehensive programming and laws to address the problems. We can no longer let the NRA and drug lobbies destroy this country. We can no longer let politics and partisanship destroy this country.

No longer can we just sit by and pray!  Over the past 16+ years Republicans have cut mental health/drug and alcohol programs/hospitals and treatments. Health insurance companies have reduced coverage for these health issues. As a result, fewer people have access to these services. These programs are not affordable or available to many citizens. Bobby Jindal, past Governor of Louisiana, destroyed the mental health and alcohol/drug treatment hospitals and facilities, defunding many, and closing many. This is not how you address a serious problem such as mental illness and alcohol/drug addiction! It is not enough to pray, or mourn AFTER a person dies, or a family is destroyed. We must have adequate care in this country! We must fully fund mental health and alcohol/drug programming in this country! No one should be denied quality treatment!

I am an MSW, a social worker. I am also a Paralegal. I have worked in various social service settings and with various social problems over 50 years. I have also worked in various legal settings: for Criminal Court/Drug Court, for The Supreme Court Judiciary Commission, for The US Labor Department, The US Immigration Court, Department of Justice…  I have a comprehensive view of how our social problems cause and interact with all aspects of our lives in this country. One of my jobs was as Supervisor of Drug Court for the Orleans Criminal Court. I also supervised Mental Health Court and Domestic Violence Court. They are all interrelated: these problems!  We MUST work on mental health issues/drug and alcohol issues in order to address our other national problems! We cannot sit back as citizens and refuse to fully fund and create quality programming for these problems! If you are a Republican, you are part of the problem; if you vote for people who do not address the problems and do not fund the issues. It is a nationwide problem; we must have nationwide solutions and funding; not piecemeal, according to what a particular state “wants” to do, or a particular Governor wants to do (prove he is “conservative”, whatever that means); Republicans are destroying this country re mental health/alcohol/drug programming and lack of reasonable gun laws. These are all interrelated.

As a drug court supervisor I was unable to do my job because there were not adequate services in New Orleans to treat alcohol/drug clients and mentally ill clients. Bobby Jindal closed several mental health/drug hospitals and treatment centers, including the New Orleans Adolescent Drug Treatment Center, and Mandeville Drug Treatment Hospital. Many of our “clients” needed inpatient treatment or detox initially. It simply was not available for low-income clients. If you are rich, you can get treatment, otherwise not. The few low cost/free beds were always full and had long waiting lists. Our clients could not wait. It is a life/death issue. We had to put clients back on the street, or in jail (where they obtained drugs); often they ended back in jail long term because our drug court was unable to get them the help they needed. Or they committed new crimes related to drugs, or mental illness issues.

I had mothers calling me begging me to send police to arrest their son or daughter because they were drug addicts and the mothers could not find or afford treatment. They thought we would at least get help for their children. They feared their children were going to die.

There is something wrong in this country! We MUST fully fund mental health/alcohol and drug treatment.

Gun violence and death due to guns: This country must develop common sense gun laws. Again the above issues and gun violence are interrelated. We have a huge population of citizens who are unstable!; either due to mental illness, emotional illness(anger, paranoia, excessive fear…), alcohol/drug abuse… We have a monstrous supply of guns in this country, including assault weapons, with no reasonable gun laws. We have people who worship guns and don’t worship human life and safety. I feel very unsafe walking around with mentally ill people with guns.  I cannot believe men can walk around with rifles freely. I cannot believe men can walk into a store and buy an assault rifle. The open carry laws, with no constraints, are ridiculous. Police do not feel safe when men walk around freely with  rifles and guns. They know many of them are mentally/emotionally unhealthy, or on drugs.

We must fully fund mental health/alcohol/drug treatment in this country. Mental illness and drug abuse causes many other problems for this country: the loss of human capital: workers; soaring health care costs as mental health/drugs then affect physical health; violence against women, child abuse and the resulting health care costs; crime, violence, poverty(cannot get or keep a job), veterans committing suicide or living with PTSD, suicide of citizens, families living in extreme stress, children growing up with mentally ill parents(then they often become mentally ill or don’t succeed).

There are many federal issues affecting the fundability and effectiveness  of mental health/drug treatment in this country. One issue is that we can no longer allow privatization of mental health care/drug treatment in America. Privatization makes care unaffordable and inaccessible. Those are 2 major issues in providing care: affordability and access. These corporations are only out for profit, money: not quality treatment and care. We cannot leave it up to Republican governors! We must fully fund quality care. We must develop and pass common sense gun laws to protect this country. Hillary will make this happen.  Praying is not enough! We, as citizens, MUST pay taxes to fund prevention and treatment in this country! We must vote for leaders who will lead in these social problems areas and produce results! Only then will you see a reduction in death due to mental illness/drugs and gun violence, AND all the other related problems. Mental illness/drugs not only affect the person afflicted, it affects their whole family and community, police,  and this entire country, including law, order and safety.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

04 Mar 2016 Leave a comment

In my book, http://www.amazon.com/FLIP-SIDE-BEAUTY-BEAST-journey-ebook/dp/B00OEXSN2Q/ref=la_B00O0DZHI8_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1415926609&sr=1-1  , The Flip Side of Beauty and the Beast, I discuss the reality of coming across men, when we are over 50, who are “beauties” on the outside, but beasts on the inside: liars, cheaters, manipulators, mean, narcissistic, control freaks, shallow, mindless, …  The flip side involves hoping for a man, a companion, who is not necessarily a beauty on the outside, but is kind, loving, respectful, encouraging, intelligent and has emotional intelligence: ability to control their emotions, words, actions, anxiety (mindfulness); persist in the face of frustration, regulate his moods, control impulse, and to empathize… is good on the inside; A man who knows right and wrong, and has positive values, beliefs and attitudes, believes in empathy and compassion, is wise. We no longer are attracted to the “bad” guy, because we have been there,  done that, and know better. We are wise. But sometimes, these beasts also are experts at lying and manipulating and hiding their true selves, until they hook you.

The book also ties all of this in closely with how we were parented. Quality parenting produces men with the above traits usually. All relationships, romantic and parenting are related as that is how we get our behaviors, values, beliefs, attitudes, words, actions. Good parenting usually leads to good future relationships. When men are raised by men who are beasts: mean, dictatorial, distant, non-communicative regarding the above traits, and about life, the men often become the same way. Bad men beget bad men. But we can learn to become “good”.  It takes a lot of work.

All of this comes flooding back to me as I watch the 2020 elections unfolding. The image of male beasts is raising its scary head: monsters. The Republican candidate is pretty scary. It reminds me of Sendak’s book, Where the Wild Things Are. “Let the wild rumpus start!”  “…and the wild things roared their terrible roars, gnashed their terrible teeth, rolled their terrible eyes, and showed their terrible claws.”  And I am the king of all wild things saying, “be still!”  But then I wake up and realize it is real!

As a woman, I am also very interested in finding a president who possesses most of the above positive traits. I will not vote for a beast, nice looking on the outside, but bad on the inside. I am also looking for a mature, over 50, wise, intelligent, studious proven leader for a president. I stay away from greedy, ruthless, racist, sexist, fascistic, bullying. As a woman, I have to study the history of women and children in America, and how we developed our rights and protections.  I am aware that it was misogynistic men who rallied against giving women the right to vote, hold office, the right to own property, taking away a man’s right to own his wife and children and giving a mother rights regarding the children she gave birth to; workplace laws and protections, abuse laws,etc. I am aware that the Republican party is rife with misogynistic men who do not want any more rights, advances for women, don’t like strong, smart women, and don’t want women in politics; certainly not as President .Certain men are not going to give up control and power, certainly not to women.  I have listened to men call women sexist names. I have heard Republican men say that a woman should not be president. They hate Hillary because of these things. They hate Obama because he is black. They hate both of them because they are “liberals”. Those are the reasons they vote for candidates; not because of the above positive traits. This is the way that these men communicate that “my race, sex is better, stronger”.  They are haters, beasts, with no traits that qualify them to be President.

I have very strong beliefs about what makes a great president, and about what this country needs now. I have watched in disbelief as these men have, over the past eight years, hated, obstructed, read fairy tales, not showed up to vote, with no ideas or movements towards making this country as great as it should be; to keep it from falling apart, no movement towards solving our major problems; just creating hate and division.

All of this revolves around relationships, how we were raised, our positive traits, skills, intelligence, values, beliefs, and attitudes: beliefs in people, the basic goodness of people, developing relationships, even with those we disagree with, valuing dialogue and respect, dignity, statesmanship, valuing learning, studying, debate.

How can a leader develop productive relationships with world leaders if they can’t even develop relationships with American leaders?  How can you propose to be an American leader, the ultimate leader, if you have been a negative, devisive, egotistical, no-show elected person in the past?

My book talks about what women want: in relationships, from men they parent with, to produce in our children, especially boys. We want much the same from our leaders. It also talks about what women don’t want in relationships: control freaks, tempers, lying and cheating …

Lastly, we should all learn how to raise boys to men, who have the above positive traits and values, so that we can have more quality people running for office, and have voters who value  learning, discussing, respecting people’s opinions, being respectful, courteous, and re-examining their values, beliefs, heritage, after they reach adulthood;  and participating in the rights and privileges and responsibilities of being a citizen. Our young people need to feel responsible for doing these things. Parents must be responsible for their words, actions in front of their children; are they modeling  positive traits and responsibilities? If all you do is sit around criticizing, hating, spurting venom, laughing at people not like you, you are not responsible. If we teach separatism, regionalism, me-ism and don’t expose our children to people not like them, we are lacking. This can be done by traveling, or by reading with them, discussing with them, documentaries, videos…

Our relationships can be rewarding and character building, always with positives, struggles, unpleasant discussions done respectfully. The positives and the negatives are necessary to building strong, resilient people, as long as discussions are respectful and productive.  We need to break the cycle now, of  building people without intelligence, emotional intelligence, positive traits, great values, beliefs, mental and emotional health, and resilience, It is passed down from generation to generation. My book aims at helping people to read, study, and think about how all of this is closely related. It starts with our parenting, and then moves into our adult years where we become mindful, caring, loving adults, leaders, partners, parents. It is a cycle. We must break the cycle of raising men who are mean, dictatorial, focused on “me”, egotistical, power hungry, greedy, who believe they are better than others, control freaks, believe their sex and race are “better”, and others are “bad” or unworthy; irresponsible in their words and actions, have a sense of entitlement, believe in violence in relationships and with people. We want to be with people, and have leaders and young adults who are good inside.

You can break negative cycles by learning and exhibiting effective, positive parenting. Also by voting your conscience, values, beliefs after you examine them. And by not voting in a way that will build upon hate, racism, sexism, regionalism, separatism, or because your friends vote that way. That is how Hitler rose to power.  Don’t vote if you are not clear on what you believe and what this country needs to become great. Don’t vote straight party, because they belong to your “party”. It is irresponsible. Don’t vote if you think this is all hilarious, not important, your vote doesn’t count, or have become cynical. Don’t vote if you don’t have a lot of positive traits and beliefs, optimism. positive words. Don’t vote for someone who is “the lesser of two evils”. We can do better than that!

You can break the cycle by having respectful, important discussions with your partner regarding these elections. Discuss your values and beliefs and hopes for the future, and the future for your children and grandchildren, for America, and the world. Are you sexist? Do you believe only certain sexes and races should be President? Do you have prejudices?  This is how people and relationships thrive and grow. And disagreements are OK! Respectful, open dialogue, and open minds, hearts, souls… we owe it to each other, and to this country.

 

Link by Lisa Mahaffey, MSW